Superman And The Mole-Men

Before George Reeves starred in the first season of the syndicated ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, Lippert Pictures produced this 58-minute feature that was later cut into a two-part episode, “The Unknown People.” SUPERMAN AND THE MOLE-MEN was not a pilot per se, but was a vehicle to release in theaters as publicity for the TV show, which premiered in 1952.

Reeves (RANCHO NOTORIOUS), who became a television star in the dual role of Clark Kent and Superman, is terrific in it — confident, intelligent, tough, and compassionate. He’s almost matched by the feisty Phyllis Coates (PANTHER GIRL OF THE KONGO), who remains the screen’s pre-eminent Lois Lane.

Daily Planet reporters Kent (Reeves) and Lane (Coates) travel to little Silsby, home of the world’s deepest oil well, which drills more than six miles below the surface. Unfortunately, it has drilled a tunnel to the underground home of a race of “mole people”—phosphorescent midgets with hairy backs and big foreheads—who crawl to the surface and run around accidentally frightening humans to death. They may also be radioactive, spurring the hotheaded citizens, led by rabble-rousing bigot Luke Benson (Jeff Corey), to form a lynch mob to murder the strange creatures. Superman (Reeves in a padded suit) shows up in time to rescue the invaders and teach Silsby a lesson in tolerance.

Welcome exterior filming and a strong story — both of which the TV series generally lacked — as well as its short running time, help this minor science fiction film go down easily. Reeves doesn’t appear as Superman until the 24-minute mark and dominates from then on. Harry Thomas’ special mole man makeup is unconvincing. Discounting serials and cartoon shorts, SUPERMAN AND THE MOLE-MEN was the first feature to star Superman or any other National Periodicals character. No Jimmy Olsen or Perry White in it though. Corey, ironically, was blacklisted in 1952 by people very much like Luke Benson.

The Golden Gate Murders

He’s a cop. She’s a nun. Together, they solve a murder in THE GOLDEN GATE MURDERS, an entertaining made-for-TV crime drama that teams the distinguished British actress Susannah York (THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON’T THEY?) with the crusty and busy television star David Janssen (THE FUGITIVE). The plot is typical cop-show stuff, but Janssen was never uninteresting on the small screen.

A priest (Regis Cordic) plummets over the side of the Golden Gate Bridge. Investigating is gruff, wisecracking police detective Paul Silver (Janssen), eight years on the graveyard shift, but temporarily switched by boss Tim O’Connor (BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY) to days. What seems like an open-and-shut case of suicide is exacerbated by the priest’s nurse, Sister Benecia (York), who is convinced he would never kill himself.

Because director Walter Grauman gives us glimpses of Cordic going over the side, we know he was murdered (the title also gives away the mystery), so while writer David Kinghorn (TWO FATHERS’ JUSTICE) sends the stars through their procedural paces, we derive pleasure from the chemistry between them. Of course, romance is out (or is it?), but the distinguished York brings out the best in the hilariously brusque Janssen, who probably isn’t ad-libbing, but is so natural in his line-readings that he sometimes appears to be. He wears sunglasses a lot, which may be to hide red eyes (he’s funny when shopping with York and nonchalantly filling his cart with liquor bottles, telling her, “I entertain a lot”).

The production is surprisingly cheap for a ‘70s TV-movie with Grauman shooting driving scenes against an unconvincing screen and bridge scenes on unconvincing sets. Janssen died a few months after CBS aired THE GOLDEN GATE MURDERS against Game 1 of the American League Championship Series between the Orioles and Angels.

The Last Dinosaur

This American/Japanese co-production bypassed U.S. theaters for a premiere on ABC after a DONNY & MARIE episode. It’s the only film ever made with a hero named Masten Thrust Jr. I guess we have screenwriter William Overgard, best known for drawing the STEVE ROPER & MIKE NOMAD comic strip, to thank for that.

Basically a mixture of Jules Verne, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Toho monster movies, and the Jock Mahoney adventure THE LAND UNKNOWN for Universal-International, THE LAST DINOSAUR sends wealthy white hunter Thrust (Richard Boone), journalist Frankie Banks (Joan Van Ark), scientist Kawamoto (Tetsu Nakamura), geologist Chuck Wade (Steven Keats), and tracker Bunta (Lester Rackley) above the Arctic Circle, where they enter a tropical valley populated with dinosaurs beneath a volcano. The party becomes stranded there, and Thrust becomes obsessed with killing a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Boone, a great actor who became a television star on HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL, is fascinating to watch for both the right and wrong reasons. He plays the heck out of the complex character Overgard created on the page, giving the misogynist, rundown, yet somehow heroic Thrust plenty of dimension. He’s also clearly plastered in some scenes — Boone was a notorious alcoholic — is cursed with an outrageous toupee, and fiddles with his false teeth once or twice. His romantic chemistry with the 27-years-younger Van Ark (KNOTS LANDING) is surprisingly effective.

The special effects work by the Japanese crew is, as usual, not terribly believable, but almost always fun and imaginative. The American producers were Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass, well known for animated television specials like RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER and FROSTY THE SNOWMAN. They brought back Boone, Overgard, and co-director Tsugunobu Kotani for THE BUSHIDO BLADE, which turned out to be Boone’s last film (he died before its 1981 release).

Death Race 2050

Roger Corman remakes DEATH RACE 2000, a black comic action classic he produced for director Paul Bartel in 1975. Unlike the recent “remakes” (titled DEATH RACE, DEATH RACE 2, and DEATH RACE 3), DEATH RACE 2050 brings back the one thing everybody remembers about Bartel’s film, which is the conceit of earning points for every pedestrian who is run over and killed. Playing Frankenstein, the David Carradine role, for director G.J. Echternkamp (FRANK AND CINDY) and his co-writer Matt Yamashita (SHARKTOPUS VS. PTERACUDA) is the charmless Manu Bennett (THE HOBBIT).

There is also a touch of HUNGER GAMES in the picture, which is to be expected considering Corman’s fast-buck reputation. The most prominent evidence is Malcolm McDowell’s...shall we say, flamboyant?...turn as The Chairman, whom the actor plays as a combination of Caesar Flickerman and Donald Trump. He’s having more fun than anyone watching this movie. The only other actor whose performance rises above “competent” is soap star Marci Miller, who projects humor and sex appeal as Frankenstein’s partner without pressing it.

Though DEATH RACE 2050 goes so far as to repeat specific gags from the original film, everything about it is worse: acting, script, costumes, even the cars are less individualistic. Remarkably, the visual effects are worse. It’s unclear if the actors spent more than a day outside, since the whole race is created by technicians with mice. Exciting car stunts? Not here. CGI explosions and phony green-screen scenery outside the drivers’ windows? Plenty.

Occasionally, a joke will land, most of them as captions identifying the locations (learning the new Washington, D.C. was formerly called Dubai is a good one). The humor in Bartel’s film wasn’t subtle, but it was witty. Echternkamp abandons any pretense of wit in favor of broad jabs at easy targets, often culminating in a bloody body part falling from the sky. And Corman’s star falling along with it.

Savage Beach

By the time he made SAVAGE BEACH, writer/director Andy Sidaris had his perfect formula for escapist adventure down pat: gorgeous women (always nude or scantily clad), handsome guys, Hawaiian beaches and palm trees, guns, gadgets, explosions, tongue-in-cheek humor, suggestive dialogue, and a slick production that belied its low budget.

Beginning with his third, MALIBU EXPRESS (a remake of STACEY, his first film), Sidaris’ movies flow across the same universe with characters and relatives of characters popping up from picture to picture. While casting actors to play the same characters in several films made sense in terms of continuity, Sidaris also had the confusing habit of bringing back actors to play different characters. So, for instance, John Aprea (MATT HOUSTON) would get killed off as the main heavy in PICASSO TRIGGER, but return as a good guy in SAVAGE BEACH.

SAVAGE BEACH marks the third screen teaming of Playmates Dona Speir (as Donna) and Hope Marie Carlton (as Taryn), undercover DEA agents posing as cargo pilots in Hawaii. Their assignment is to deliver emergency serum 1500 miles through a storm to sick children on an island in the South Pacific. On their return trip to Molokai (and just after putting the plane on autopilot so they can change out of their wet clothes), Donna and Taryn make a forced landing on an uncharted island.

Uncharted, but busy. Not only is it home to a Japanese soldier who believes World War II is still a thing (and killed Taryn’s father!), but also there lies a cache of Philippine gold stolen by the Japanese, which a bunch of guys — both good and bad — coincidentally picked this exact time to chase. As usual, Sidaris’ screenplay is ridiculously confusing, though one wants to give him the benefit of the doubt that the confusion is part of the joke. As is casting a pre-porn Teri Weigel (CHEERLEADER CAMP) as a political revolutionary.

Speir stuck around for more Sidaris flicks, but the adorable Carlton bolted, which was a blow to both her career (SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE III was no step up) and Sidaris’ followups. While neither starlet was believable as a government agent (nor were they supposed to be), they were both competent actresses with disparate personalities that meshed well. Sidaris found new partners for Speir, but none matched Carlton’s appeal.

The Jigsaw Murders

Concorde actually got this crime cheapie into a few theaters. Star Chad Everett even plugged it and another Roger Corman production, HEROES STAND ALONE, on a segment of SUPER PASSWORD, though not using the current titles.

The film needed all the help it could get, even from daytime television audiences, because THE JIGSAW MURDERS is an uninspiring crime drama with laughable police procedure, unconvincing performances, and slackly directed action. Considering its subject matter, director Jag Mundhra (NIGHT EYES) would have been better off including more sleazy content, which would have been both appropriate and more entertaining.

Everett, a big shot on MEDICAL CENTER more than a decade earlier, is Joe DaVonzo, a drunken L.A. homicide detective estranged from his model daughter Kathy (BLAME IT ON RIO’s Michelle Johnson) because he disapproves of the nudie photos in her portfolio. He and his rookie partner Elliot Greenfield (soap star Michael Sabatino) are assigned a case involving a Jane Doe (played in photographs by Michelle Bauer) whose assorted body parts are popping up around town. With very little mystery to hook the audience, the cops soon discover her identity, which leads them to her suspected killer, a pervy photographer named Ace Mosley (Eli Rich). The killer’s motive and psychological profile are pretty shaky in Allen Ury’s screenplay, which concentrates on DaVonzo’s obsession with putting Mosley away and his return to the bottom of a bottle when his incompetence allows the psycho to go free.

Everett may have considered THE JIGSAW MURDERS a comeback vehicle, but the flimsy story lets him down. One can see why the veteran leading man would have been attracted to the role, which allows him to cry, crack jokes, act drunk, play domestic drama, and be a cool action star. Never a versatile performer, Everett comes off better than Rich (LOCK UP), whose over-the-top line readings indicate why his career never took off. Jag Mundhra’s sledgehammer direction reaches its peak with a hilariously overwrought crosscutting between a worked-up Everett, drinking and tossing his whiskey glass through his television screen, and Rich masturbating to slides of Michelle Bauer.

Besides Yaphet Kotto’s one day’s work as a jovial coroner who, yes, eats on the job and a brief bit by Brinke Stevens (SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE) as a nude model, THE JIGSAW MURDERS presents little of interest. Not even jigsaw “murders,” as the damn movie only gives us one (the film was shot under the title JIGSAW). Not a great year for Chad Everett, as HEROES STAND ALONE received as little attention as THE JIGSAW MURDERS, if not less, and his ABC pilot, THUNDERBOAT ROW, failed to get picked up by the network.

Fear City

The New York Knifer roams the scuzzy streets of the Big Apple, carving up strippers represented by talent agents Tom Berenger (PLATOON) and Jack Scalia, starring in his first film after mild success as a television leading man. Multiple cases of exotic dancers catching the blue flu coincide with news of their colleagues being butchered, and Berenger and Scalia may go broke unless bigoted cops Billy Dee Williams (LADY SINGS THE BLUES) and Daniel Faraldo (I, THE JURY) catch the killer. Finally, after Scalia is kung fu’ed by the serial killer and lapses into a coma, Berenger goes hunting with the backing of mobster Rossano Brazzi (SOUTH PACIFIC) and rival agent Jan Murray (WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR).

FEAR CITY sat on the shelf nearly 18 months after principal photography until independent distributor Chevy Chase Distribution (no connection to the actor) dropped it into theaters nationwide. Directed by Abel Ferrara, then known for pornography and violent horror movies, FEAR CITY features more sleaze, violence, and nudity than 20th Century Fox, which partially backed the production, was comfortable with. What Fox expected from a director with Ferrara’s resume may be lost to history, but there is little doubt he gave them just what he promised. FEAR CITY is strong stuff for sure, but it’s also a tough, gritty thriller with an excellent cast and an eye-opening view of 42nd Street in all its grindhouse glory.

Scalia, who starred in several television series, including the notorious TEQUILA & BONETTI, without any of them being a hit, shows off a modicum of big-screen charisma and easily holds his own opposite his more experienced co-lead. Berenger gets more to do, however, including pine for his ex-girlfriend, a bisexual stripper played by Melanie Griffith (also in the sexy BODY DOUBLE), who does love scenes with Rae Dawn Chong (TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE). Great mugs like Michael V. Gazzo (SUDDEN IMPACT) and Joe Santos (THE ROCKFORD FILES) appear, as do gorgeous women like Janet Julian (HUMONGOUS), Ola Ray (10 TO MIDNIGHT), and EXTREME PREJUDICE’s Maria Conchita Alonso in her U.S. film debut.

The Laughing Policeman

Best known as a comedic character actor (he won an Oscar for THE FORTUNE COOKIE), Walter Matthau’s gruff, hangdog stage demeanor were perfectly suited to the tough, gritty milieu of urban cops and criminals, particularly when dark humor was involved. THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE and CHARLEY VARRICK are ‘70s crime classics, but THE LAUGHING POLICEMAN is no slouch. It’s an absorbing mystery directed by Stuart Rosenberg (COOL HAND LUKE) that offers an outstanding supporting cast for Matthau to play with. Robert Altman seems to have been an influence on Rosenberg, who amps the realism by casting actors who don’t look like movie stars and having them talk over each other.

Eight people are slaughtered on a San Francisco city bus by a black-gloved individual using a “grease gun.” Leading the investigation is Lieutenant Jake Martin (Matthau), who is nonplussed to discover one of the victims is his partner, Dave Evans, who was supposed to have been on vacation. A visit to Dave’s girlfriend Kay (Cathy Lee Crosby) reveals that Evans was secretly working one of Jake’s cold cases. Jake, who’s having problems at home (he and his wife sleep in separate rooms, and his 15-year-old son goes to porn theaters), is teamed up with a loquacious new partner, Leo Larsen, played charismatically by Bruce Dern (THE KING OF MARVIN GARDENS).

Also in the cast are Lou Gossett Jr. (AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN), Val Avery (BLACK CAESAR), Anthony Zerbe (HARRY O), Joanna Cassidy (BLADE RUNNER), Albert Paulsen (THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE), Matt Clark (WHITE LIGHTNING), Gregory Sierra (BARNEY MILLER), Clifton James (Sgt. Pepper in the 007 films), Paul Koslo (MR. MAJESTYK), and Leigh French (THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS COMEDY HOUR). The performances are quite good, particularly Gossett’s black sharpie, cool as a cucumber on the streets. Matthau’s taciturn mumbling and Dern’s motormouth charm is a winning combination.

Tom Rickman, later to write COAL MINER’S DAUGHTER and DEAD POETS SOCIETY, adapted one of Per Wahloo and Maj Sjowall’s Swedish police procedurals about detective Martin Beck. Rickman’s dialogue is very good, and he and Rosenberg do a decent job constructing a complicated plot without over-explaining it to the audience. The bus massacre that opens the picture is marvelously suspenseful, and Rosenberg’s handling of the other action sequences is equally tactful.

What I Watched and Read in 2016

I watched 332 movies last year, which is down from 2015's total of 350. I also read 99 books, just up from last year's total of 98. And I watched 677 television episodes, which is up from last year's 625. So basically, more television, fewer movies.

The best movies I saw for the first time last year (in no particular order):
THE EXECUTIONER PART II
A CONSPIRACY OF FAITH and THE ABSENT ONE
THE HATEFUL EIGHT
TREMORS
EX MACHINA
TRIANGLE
THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM (1991)
UNDER FIRE
YOU'RE NEXT and THE GUEST
THE NARROW MARGIN (1952)
BLOOD FATHER
TOUGH AND DEADLY
THE GHOST BREAKERS
SECONDS
SHADOW OF A DOUBT

Honorable Mentions:
THE REVENANT
BRIDGE OF SPIES
THE CONTENDER
NATIONAL LAMPOON: DRUNK STONED BRILLIANT DEAD
MOON
TURBO KID
THE NICE GUYS
SEEKING JUSTICE
FUGITIVE FAMILY
CLOSE RANGE
CAT BALLOU
HARD TARGET 2
THE NIGHT CALLER
THAT'S SEXPLOITATION!
PROJECT A
THE HOUSE OF FEAR
SABOTEUR
MITT
THE MAGNETIC MONSTER
BACK IN ACTION
WOLFCOP
CHRISTINE (2016)
ONE BODY TOO MANY
THE MAD EXECUTIONERS
HUSH (2016)
WOLF LAKE

Worst 2016 Releases (That I Saw):
SUICIDE SQUAD
I AM WRATH
PHANTASM: RAVAGER
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
GHOSTBUSTERS

Of the 99 books I read, 92 of them were first-time reads. A few recommendations by genre:
Crime Drama:
APRIL EVIL by John D. MacDonald
RECOIL by Brian Garfield
CATSPAW ORDEAL by Edward S. Aarons
CLANDESTINE by James Ellroy

Biography:
ARE YOU ANYBODY?: AN ACTOR'S LIFE by Bradford Dillman
QUIZMASTER: THE LIFE AND TIMES AND FUN AND GAMES OF BILL CULLEN by Adam Nedeff
HOPE: ENTERTAINER OF THE CENTURY by Richard Zoglin

Film/Television:
BRONSON'S LOOSE AGAIN!: ON THE SET WITH CHARLES BRONSON by Paul Talbot
THE CREATURE CHRONICLES: EXPLORING THE BLACK LAGOON TRILOGY by Tom Weaver
SHOOTING STAR by Maurice Zolotow
THAT'S NOT FUNNY, THAT'S SICK: THE NATIONAL LAMPOON AND THE COMEDY INSURGENTS WHO CAPTURED THE MAINSTREAM by Ellin Stein
THE COMEDIANS: DRUNKS, THIEVES, SCOUNDRELS AND THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN COMEDY by Kliph Nesteroff
THE FIFTY-YEAR MISSION: THE FIRST 25 YEARS by Edward Gross & Mark A. Altman

Sports:
GOING LONG: THE WILD 10-YEAR SAGA OF THE RENEGADE AMERICAN FOOTBALL LEAGUE IN THE WORDS OF THOSE WHO LIVED IT by Jeff Miller
MAD DUCKS AND BEARS by George Plimpton

Some classic television series I sampled for the first time last year:
THE RANGE RIDER
CAPTAIN GALLANT OF THE FOREIGN LEGION
THE ADVENTURES OF FU MANCHU
WHIRLYBIRDS
HONG KONG
RIPCORD
THE LLOYD BRIDGES SHOW
BRENNER
HEY LANDLORD!
EYE GUESS
THE GLEN CAMPBELL GOODTIME HOUR
DEATH VALLEY DAYS
SAYS WHO?
ALL ABOUT FACES
CHASE
MATT HELM
THE STARLAND VOCAL BAND SHOW
SIDEKICKS
LEGWORK
THE HIGHWAYMAN
THE MIND OF THE MARRIED MAN
LUCKY LOUIE

I finished binge-watching THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW and THE BOB NEWHART SHOW near the end of the year. I'm currently working on LAW & ORDER (that should take me a couple of years at least) and BARNABY JONES (which goes down as smoothly as a glass of warm milk before bed).