Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Finders Keepers
November 6, 1979 (2 hrs.)
November 13, 1979 (1 hr.)
Music: William Broughton and Stu Phillips
Story: Glen A. Larson, Sidney Ellis, Robert L. McCullough, Frank Lupo and John Peyser
Teleplay: Michael Sloan, Sidney Ellis, Robert L. McCullough and Frank Lupo
Director: Bruce Bilson
THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO's magnum opus, "Finders Keepers" needed three hours, six writers, the city of Las Vegas and practically the whole cast of BJ AND THE BEAR to tell. Truthfully, the basic plot could have been told in a single segment, but the large cast of hammy character actors and director Bruce Bilson's brisk pacing keep the sprawling epic eminently watchable, no matter how absurd it becomes.
Anyone with a collection of TV Guides could probably clear them up, but Internet sources are muddled about "Finders Keepers"' original airdates. I'm pretty certain this is due to LOBO's syndication history. BJ AND THE BEAR and THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO went into syndication briefly after their original NBC runs as THE BJ/LOBO HOUR, and the two series' combined 86 hours were rolled together. The first two hours of "Finders Keepers," as best I could tell from my reference library, aired on LOBO November 6, 1979, with the one-hour conclusion airing a week later. When LOBO and BJ went into reruns, the three hours were broken into three one-hour episodes, which were retitled "Run for the Money," with the middle segment "becoming" a BJ AND THE BEAR.
If anyone can correct this information, please feel free to do so in the comments. I don't know why Universal would have reshuffled the shows or retitled them to the point where LOBO star Claude Akins was called in to provide a "now presenting the conclusion of 'Run for the Money'" voiceover.
"Finders Keepers" is quite a reunion of BJ McKay foes. Sheriff Lobo (Akins), Deputy Perkins (Mills Watson) and Deputy Hawkins (Brian Kerwin) leave Orly for Vegas to attend a sheriff's convention, where they bump into Sheriff Masters (Richard Deacon), Sgt. Wiley (Slim Pickens) and The Fox (Conchata Ferrell), as well as Captain Cain (Ed Lauter) and Oscar Gorley (J.D. Cannon), last seen financing "Cain's Cruiser." Also in Vegas, coincidentally, is BJ McKay (Greg Evigan), who was hired by Gorley to deliver a truckload of police paraphernalia, including two canisters of nerve gas that are hijacked en route by a hottie on a hangglider.
Mastermind Paul Vane (James Olson) and his two sexy associates (Renne Jarrett, Jeannie Wilson) use the nerve gas to put to sleep an entire casino, including BJ and all of the cops. Of course, BJ is framed for the $1.5 million heist, but after he's bailed out of the joint by his good buddy Glen Campbell (!), he turns the city upside down to find the real thieves before all the conniving lawmen can find the money for themselves.
Benefiting from location shooting at the Dunes and at Lake Mead, "Finders Keepers" has just about all you want in a LOBO, including dopey slapstick, cars crashing and jumping things, Perkins acting like a dolt and plenty of sexy women (the stunning Deborah Shelton, later in BODY DOUBLE, plays an FBI agent). The bad guys are never truly threatening, and the good guys save the day. Even Perkins gets the girl at the end.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
First Newman, Then Santiago
Cirio H. Santiago, on the other hand, whose death was reported by Tim Lucas this weekend, is a filmmaker Paul Newman likely never even heard of, despite the fact that he's one of the most prolific and successful director/producers in the history of Asian cinema.
Santiago, who died Friday at age 72, began making movies in his native Philippines in the 1950s, but didn't make an impact Stateside until the early 1970s. That's when he hooked up with New World Pictures' Roger Corman, who hired Santiago to produce and to direct action-packed melodramas in the Philippines that made tons of money in U.S. drive-ins and continue to be popular among exploitation-movie fans today. As a director, pictures like FLY ME! (about sexy stewardesses), COVER GIRL MODELS (about, ahem, sexy cover girl models), TNT JACKSON (starring the gorgeous Jeanne Bell, who will "put you in traction") and many others. He also line-produced several pictures for Corman that he didn't direct, such as Jack Hill's renowned women-in-prison epics, THE BIG BIRD CAGE and THE BIG DOLL HOUSE.
As exploitation films changed in the 1980s, so did Santiago, who managed to crank out several films per year, most of which became perennial favorites on home video. A Santiago film is pretty easy to spot when you see one. It generally runs about 72 minutes, makes no narrative sense, offers tons of crazy action scenes, usually features Filipino fan favorites Vic Diaz and/or Joe Avellana, and delivers in the violence and nudity departments. Once you've seen Lynda Wiesmeier strapped topless to the hood of a speeding car in WHEELS OF FIRE, you're unlikely to ever forget.
Santiago never let his lack of production budget to stand in his way. For 1987's FAST GUN (starring SAVAGE STREETS' Robert Dryer as the heavy), set designers and builders found a very short stretch of dirt road in some park in the Philippines, and erected very unconvincing plywood facades intended to represent Main Street. The windows are made from white cardboard, rather than glass. It's hilarious watching sheriff Rick Hill (DEATHSTALKER) defending this "town" from villains, but Santiago wasn't one for details, it seems. The town itself doesn't really matter, Cirio seems to be saying. It's all about the action and visceral excitement of good guys vs. bad guys and giving the audience what it wants.
For whatever Cirio Santiago's faults as a filmmaker, letting his fans down was not one of them. The fact that he directed four different films in which the sexy female protagonist engaged in a kung fu battle while nude is proof of that.
P.S. They are TNT JACKSON (Jeanne Bell), FIRECRACKER (the late Jillian Kesner), ANGELFIST (the late Cat Sassoon) and ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION (Maria Ford). I recommend them all (if you can find them). Fred Adelman has a salute to Santiago up on his Web site.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Urban Guerilla
Pinnacle, the paperback publisher who delivered the pulpy adventures of the Executioner, the Penetrator and many other gritty action heroes to drugstores all over the nation, also gave us the .357 Vigilante series in the mid-1980s. Reportedly intended as a parody of the typical Pinnacle hero, Ian Ludlow's first book reads more like a slicker prime-time-television Penetrator instead. "Ludlow"—in actuality, television writer/producer Lee Goldberg—was a student at UCLA when he got the gig writing these books, so he can be forgiven for whatever shortcomings they have. According to Goldberg's UCLA professor (and co-writer?), Lewis Perdue, who turned down Pinnacle's offer to write the series and offered it to his student instead, the novels were intended to be "over-the-top bad." I have a hard time believing anybody would intentionally write a bad novel, especially an aspiring twenty-year-old who's been given a huge break penning novels for a major publisher. I wonder if that's really a later-in-life excuse for subpar writing that embarrasses the successful writers today.I don't think Goldberg/Ludlow has anything to be embarrassed about, and it's very possible he doesn't think so either. In fact, if you're familiar with Goldberg's TV work as a writer of middle-of-the-road crime dramas like SPENSER: FOR HIRE, HUNTER and DIAGNOSIS: MURDER, you may notice that the .357 Vigilante books are written in the same glossy, straight-ahead style, albeit with slightly ramped-up sex and violence that would probably not be too outrageous for today's prime-time audience. I don't use "middle-of-the-road" in a disparaging way above; matter of fact, I think television could use more shows like HUNTER in a time when solving mysteries has become a grim pursuit, rather than something fun (yes, I realize the concept that chasing murderers should be "fun" sounds kinda weird, but that's what murder mysteries are all about).
The "star" of MAKE THEM PAY, book #2 in the .357 Vigilante series, is Brett Macklin, whose origin (told in .357 VIGILANTE) is similar to that of Mack Bolan, the Executioner. Macklin's cop father was murdered by punks who set him on fire and tossed him under a bus (literally), which then exploded, taking out half a city block. Afflicted with Paul Kersey Syndrome, which means you should not hang out or fall in love with him at all costs, Macklin suffers more personal losses in the sequel, which pits "Mr. Jury" (I don't know why Pinnacle didn't call the series Mr. Jury) against child pornographers. Macklin's cop pal, Shaw, who is steadfastly opposed to vigilante justice, and the city's mayor recruit Macklin to clean up the perverts, who then kill their victims after filming them.
Adding to the moral dilemma over whether vigilantism is a good thing is Macklin's decision to seek some sort of due process on his targets before killing them. To this end, a fourth member is added to the "team"—a burned-out barrister who's now the host of a banal TV courtroom show—who looks over the "evidence" and gives Macklin the go-ahead to rub out the accused.
Goldberg doesn't really spend a lot of time debating the subject of vigilantism, but I think addressing the argument was a good idea. However, MAKE THEM PAY is more interested in blowing stuff up and shooting people, which is as it should be. At just 151 pages, the book is well paced and structured. I'd be surprised if Goldberg hasn't tried to pitch a Brett Macklin television series, though, judging from history, network executives seem to be not too fond of vigilantes taking the law into their own hands between shampoo commercials.
A special bonus with my copy of MAKE THEM PAY is the author's autograph. In February, I picked up the first (all?) three .357 Vigilante paperbacks in an eBay lot. I was pleasantly surprised to find an author's inscription on the title page, and an email response from Goldberg confirmed its legitimacy. Neither of us knows who Paul is though.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Remarkable Saga of Dave Hampton
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Frank
In 1974, baseball superstar Frank Robinson became the sport's first black manager when he was hired to helm the Cleveland Indians's 1975 season. Robinson was already on his way to the Hall of Fame, having compiled more than 550 home runs and 2900 hits for the Cincinnati Reds and the Baltimore Orioles, with quick stops with the Los Angeles Dodgers and the California Angels. "Robby" had been traded to Cleveland during the '74 season, where manager Ken Aspromonte had guided the Indians to a typically poor season. One day after the Tribe wrapped up its 77-84 season, owner Ted Bonda and general manager Phil Seghi announced Robinson would be the Indians' player-manager the following year.FRANK: THE FIRST YEAR is a surprisingly candid account of Robinson's experiences that season. Although Jim Bouton's groundbreaking BALL FOUR was just six years earlier, books by baseball players still tended to focus on generalities and rarely entered the locker room, heeding to the old proverb that states, "What you see here stays here." Since Holt, Rinehart & Winston published FRANK in 1976, many similar books have followed, the best being Sparky Lyle's THE BRONX ZOO, which rivals BALL FOUR for honesty and humor. FRANK may be the first of its type to be written, however, by a manager (Dave Anderson is Robinson's co-writer), and as such, it comes from a different viewpoint, one authoritarian in nature.
While Robinson is often brutally honest in his assessment of players and umpires he dislikes, a failing of FRANK is that he's still too soft on the book's other "characters." It's understandable that he would be, considering that he still had to manage the same players next season. FRANK is also lacking in "Xs and Os." Considered one of the game's smartest tacticians, Robinson is reticent to reveal too much about his theories or strategy about the game, maybe in fear of giving his opponents a heads-up.
I don't wish too sound hard on the book, because it is fair entertainment. Pitcher Gaylord Perry and catcher Johnny Ellis earn Robinson's wrath for what Robinson deems attitude problems, and a fair number of umpires fall under Robby's disdainful eye. It's a book about a man who was better at baseball than almost everyone else who ever played, yet was now re-learning the game from a manager's viewpoint.
Like Bouton's 1969 Seattle Pilots, the 1975 Indians were a bad team, sometimes a brutal one, yet it also lacked the zany characters that made BALL FOUR so successful. Robinson can't be blamed for that, of course, but it does keep FRANK: THE FIRST YEAR from being as good as it could have been.
Robinson, who was elected to the Hall of Fame in 1982, has remained in the game as a manager ever since helming the Indians to a 79-80 finish his first season. He later managed the San Francisco Giants, the Orioles and the Montreal Expos/Washington Nationals, yet despite never finishing higher than second place, is still considered a fine manager (and probably justly so). He last managed the 2006 Nationals at the age of 70.
Monday, September 22, 2008
What Does It Take To Change The Essence Of A Man?

If you're even slightly interested in film, you're probably aware of the auteur theory, which posits that the director is the sole author of his work, regardless of the contributions of the writers, actors, crew, etc. Unless you're a regular reader of Ain't It Cool News, however, you may not be aware of the badass auteur theory, which is that, in action movies, it is the star, or the "badass," who is the film's true author, whether he be John Wayne, Clint Eastwood or the subject of the book I finished this weekend, Steven Seagal.
The book is SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL. The author is Vern, a tremendously funny and astute writer whose frequently gut-busting reviews of action movies can be found both at Ain't It Cool News and on his own site. Whoever the mysterious "outlaw film critic" is, Vern is one of the most clever film critics I've read, due to his ability to not only mock and admire a movie at the same time, but write about it in a way that's insightful and always hilarious. Vern is also one of the few film experts to take seriously Steven Seagal, who was once among America's bigger movie stars, but has slid precipitously into direct-to-DVD schlock as quickly as his weight and work ethic appear to have changed (for the worse).
It's clear from SEAGALOGY that Vern is an admirer of Seagal, which doesn't stand in the way of his calling a spade a spade if necessary, which it often is when discussing the actor's often woeful filmography. From Seagal's film debut, the terrific ABOVE THE LAW (1988), to the recent PISTOL WHIPPED (2008), Vern covers them all, describing their sometimes senseless plots in hilarious detail and making note of the common themes that run through all of Seagal's movies. Regardless of who wrote or directed the movies, they all contain elements that could have only been contributed by the badass, hence Vern's badass auteur theory.
If you don't give a damn about Steven Seagal, the book may not be for you, no matter how funny you think Vern is. However, I do, and it's hard to say why. Maybe it's because I vividly recall going with my friends in the dorm to see ABOVE THE LAW several times and knowing immediately that Seagal was going to be a major star. Or maybe it's the hilarity that ensued the night Seagal hosted SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE the same weekend OUT FOR JUSTICE was the box office champion and sang a bizarre rendition of "Kung Fu Fighting" before tossing Rob Schneider's annoying Copier Guy character out of a window. Or the amazement at how prolific he is, grinding out three or four DTVs per year and not even caring enough to perform his own action scenes or even dub his own voice; you truly haven't experienced Seagal until you've heard both him and his voice double, who sounds nothing like him, performing, not just in the same film, but sometimes consecutive lines, with Cajun accents.
Read SEAGALOGY and then tell me you don't want to watch ON DEADLY GROUND again, one frame at a time.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Cain’s Son-In-Law
October 27, 1979
Music: Stu Phillips
Writer: Frank Lupo
Director: Charles Rondeau
The silliness threatens to overwhelm this uneven BJ AND THE BEAR episode, which does at least stem from a clever concept. BJ (Greg Evigan) rescues a sexy blonde, Carol (Audrey Landers), from a roadside scrape with an aggressive suitor. Taking a plot point from BJ's main inspiration, SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT, Carol is escaping a fiancé she was pressured into marrying by her strict father, Captain Cain (Ed Lauter), the rigid Southern sheriff who has become one of BJ's arch-nemeses. After he catches BJ and his daughter swapping spit in a grimy motel room, Cain tosses the trucker into the hoosegow for a 30-year stretch busting rocks. The only way to gain the lawman's sympathy is by conspiring with Carol to convince her father that he and Carol plan to be married. By moving into Cain's house as his future son-in-law (and drinking his beer and blocking his driveway with the semi), BJ gets to needle Cain to get back on all the trouble the cop has called him, and Carol gets the satisfaction of having her fiancé, one of Cain's deputies, get jealous and fight for her hand.
Having BJ move into Cain's house (and call the stern right-winger "Pop") was a funny idea by writer Frank Lupo (THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO), although the humor leans too far towards slapstick near the end, when BJ and Carol's "wedding" is interrupted by a barroom brawl (that is at least nicely staged by director Charles Rondeau). In the series' effort to give the characters some continuity, Janet Louise Johnson, Angela Aames and Joshua Shelley return as BJ's trucking buddies. Lupo also wryly comments on BJ's adherence to tried-and-true television formula by having his hero wonder why he keeps getting involved in other people's problems. Hey, BJ, you wouldn't have much of a show if it was just about a truck driver hauling beer to rural roadhouses, would ya?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Three Dead Hookers
If you've seen any or all of the LETHAL WEAPON movies, you owe it to yourself to check out at least one of Pinnacle's men's adventure novels about detectives Razoni and Jackson. This wisecracking, rule-breaking black-and-white duo was quite obviously screenwriter Shane Black's influence, when he penned the first LETHAL WEAPON in the mid-1980s. Apparently, author Warren Murphy, who created Razoni and Jackson for the team's first book, CITY IN HEAT, thought so too. Probably with his lawyer's intervention, Murphy was signed to collaborate with Black on LETHAL WEAPON 2, but according to Murphy, the two had trouble working together and left the project after completing a first draft. Jeffrey Boam (INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE) eventually earned the screenplay nod with Murphy and Black receiving story credit.DEAD END STREET is the first of the five Razoni & Jackson thrillers I've read, and it appears to be a cross between the Destroyer novels Murphy and Richard Sapir were already famous for and the black-comic cop novels of Joseph Wambaugh (THE NEW CENTURIONS). Black Tough Jackson is the big, strong by-the-book (usually) family man in the partnership, whereas white Italian Ed Razoni is flashy, obnoxious, and has few (no?) qualms with busting a few little laws to capture the bad guys breaking the big laws. As members of their own special squad, complete with ball-busting commander who yells at them a lot for pissing off the police brass, Razoni and Jackson are assigned to find out who is slitting the throats of blond hookers in a particularly grubby area of the city. While Jackson is staking out the pervy owner of a nearby porn bookstore, Razoni goes undercover as a sailor to, ahem, interrogate a sexy black hooker who may have pertinent information.
You know the buddy-cop formula by now, and the Razoni & Jackson series even precedes Warner Brothers' FREEBIE AND THE BEAN, the raucous James Caan/Alan Arkin cop comedy that stands as one of Hollywood's forefather to that type of film. Even though they're fast friends, Razoni and Jackson spend most of their time bickering with each other with no racial or ethnic lines off limits. Both spend more time with each other than with their own families, and are completely comfortable with the amount of violence that fills their everyday lives. DEAD END STREET is a freewheeling good read, and I'll try to track down the other book in the series.
On ABC
NPH
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Mannix Is Back
The second season of MANNIX is coming to DVD early next year, and I have to say that I really love the cover art. CBS/Paramount has released some classy looking TV box sets, including the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE sets, which also look cool (although I wish they'd use the original logo). No word yet on supplements for Season 2, even though the first season set contained several decent extras, including star Mike Connors guesting on THE MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW!
Bullets, Broads, Blackmail & Bombs
The rest of Bookgasm isn't bad either, so check the main link every day.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Rose Vs. Jeter
Monday, September 15, 2008
Holes And Slots
Saturday, September 13, 2008
The Mob Comes To Orly
October 23, 1979
Music: William Broughton
Teleplay: Glen A. Larson and Michael Sloan
Story: Chris Lucky
Director: Mel Ferber
Getting Raymond Burr to guest-star on THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO had to have been a real coup for executive producers Glen A. Larson and Michael Sloan. One of the few men to ever star in two long-running dramatic series (PERRY MASON and IRONSIDE), Burr rarely did episodic guest shots, and it's perplexing to consider why he would make an exception for LOBO. Perhaps he knew it would be a good time. The role certainly wasn't particularly taxing, and I'm sure he was paid well to stand around the Universal lot for three days and take part in the silliness.
A consortium of mobsters, led by Bates (Joey Forman), congregates in Orly to plan the murder of their leader, the Godfather (Burr), so they can move in on his territory. The Godfather somehow learns of their secret meeting, and heads to Orly himself to confront the mutineers. Meanwhile, Lobo (Claude Akins) believes the gangsters are legitimate businessmen in town to purchase land, so he and Perkins (Mills Watson) scheme to trick them into purchasing some worthless swampland outside of town.
Outside of Burr, this relatively action-free episode is prominent only as a drinking game, in which you tip one back every time Perkins falls down. You'll be well oiled by the time the third act commences. Watson and his stunt double were very busy getting punched or falling off things in this show. Busy stuntman/actor Bob Minor (SWITCHBLADE SISTERS) has a neat bit where Perkins peels out and speeds away in his police car, while Minor, as a mechanic, is still under it.
Carl Ballantine (MCHALE'S NAVY) shows up as a hitman, but is unfortunately given too little to do. Jim Antonio and John Kerry (not the politician) also play gangsters, and blond Karen Carlson (THE STUDENT NURSES) is an undercover agent. Director Mel Ferber's credits range from DIFF'RENT STROKES to HALLMARK HALL OF FAME—a broad range that nevertheless failed to distinguish him as a director. Writer Chris Lucky, who contributed THE MOB's story, went on to do a BJ AND THE BEAR and a FALL GUY for Larson.
Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good
Did anyone recognize Jeffrey Tambor in 1984?? How did he sneak in there? Or was he just hip ahead of his time?
Oh, and if you, like I was, are curious about identifying the hottie in the lingerie, thank you, Interweb tubes.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Guilty Until Proven Innocent
Michael Gallagher is an honest businessman who is implicated by newspaper reporter Megan Carter (Field) in the disappearance of a labor boss. Megan isn't really incompetent, just naïve, since she has been suckered into printing the story by an unscrupulous government investigator (Balaban) whose inquiry into the case has run into a standstill. Gallagher's uncle and late father were gangsters, so Balaban hopes the story's notoriety will shake a few clues loose, Gallagher's livelihood and reputation be damned. The Oscar-nominated screenplay by Kurt Luedtke, a former reporter himself, really cuts loose when Gallagher begins his own sting operation with the direct purpose of teaching lessons in responsible behavior to those with virtually unchecked power to hurt innocents in their pursuit of their own goals.
Newman and Melinda Dillon (the mom from CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND and A CHRISTMAS STORY) as Gallagher's fragile friend were also nominated for Academy Awards, but Field actually has the trickiest role. Megan is not a very good reporter, nor is she particularly likable, although Field does a wonderful job of keeping the audience on her side. We want to like her, of course, because she's the cute, plucky Sally Field, and the manner in which she is led astray by men who want to use her position to advance their own agendas lends some sympathy. The actor-friendly director Sydney Pollack delivers plenty of big moments for the talented supporting cast, especially Wilford Brimley, who wanders in during the final reel to snatch the scenery. Newman's quiet intensity and intelligence make it appear as though he's barely acting, but the intricacies of the increasingly complex plot likely wouldn't have worked in Pollack's subdued dramatic context without him. And Brimley, along with Alec Baldwin in GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS, wins the All-Time Great Performance With Just One Scene In A Major Film Award.
Filmed in Miami, ABSENCE OF MALICE was a hit for Columbia and is an excellent companion to Newman's 1982 film THE VERDICT, for which he also was nominated for (and deserved to win) a Best Actor Oscar. In fact, I believe that rarely has a single movie star acted in back-to-back films with performances as great as Newman is here and in THE VERDICT, which is one of my all-time favorite films. Watch ABSENCE OF MALICE at Netflix stat.
