Small Kill

Former M*A*S*H co-star Gary Burghoff demanded that he direct his own scenes for 1992's SMALL KILL, a career-decimating cop flick shot on Long Island. As serial killer Fleck, Radar smokes, sweats, swears, leers, wears drag, deals dope, sports an (intentionally) hilarious toupee, listens to opera, sleeps with a boy prostitute and a large-breasted stripper, and kidnaps kids for ransom. I guess he didn’t trust another director to film his scenes so, uh, tastefully. Bizarrely, Burghoff does double duty as an old female fortune teller named Esmerelda—part of Fleck’s “disguise.”

Director Rob Fresco, who went on to a successful career producing prime-time TV dramas (HEROES), and co-writer Fred Carpenter are responsible for the blood squibs, Carpenter’s ridiculous Serpico-wannabe performance as a cop chasing a drug ring, and the rote police procedural plot. Burghoff doesn’t appear with any actors from the “main” story, as though he and Fresco were making their own separate films from the same screenplay. Scenes are edited to make it look as though Burghoff interacts with Carpenter and Donnie Kehr as Carpenter’s cop partner, but he’s never in the same shot with them. Second-billed Jason Miller (THE EXORCIST) hams it up in a small, superfluous role as an alcoholic informant.