RIP, Charles Napier

The great character actor Charles Napier died yesterday at the age of 75. Blessed with the best grin in Hollywood, the Kentucky-born Napier was adept at playing heavies and heroes, comedy and drama, starring roles and supporting parts. One of his first television appearances was as a singing space hippie on STAR TREK's notorious "The http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifWay to Eden," and he is best known as Good Ol' Boy Tucker McElroy in THE BLUES BROTHERS and Rambo rival Murdock in RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II. Napier was also part of Russ Meyer's repertory company, and played starring roles in Meyer's HARRY, CHERRY AND RAQUEL and SUPERVIXENS.

1987's THE NIGHT STALKER is basically a routine policier with heavy doses of sex and violence, but is also a decent showcase for Charles Napier as a leading man. Stuntman Max Kleven, who directed the action-heavy RUCKUS and W.B., BLUE & THE BEAN, joined forces with noted cult-movie icons to make this violent crime drama for Almi Pictures, the distributor of Fred Williamson’s ONE DOWN TWO TO GO and Lucio Fulci’s HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY. Don Edmonds (director of ILSA, SHE WOLF OF THE SS) and actor Buck Flower (THE DIRTY MIND OF YOUNG SALLY) produced THE NIGHT STALKER, and Edmonds and John Goff of C.B. HUSTLERS and DRIVE-IN MASSACRE wrote the screenplay.

Napier takes above-the-title billing as J.J. Striker, a drunken, burned-out Los Angeles cop. Of course, he’s late with the alimony, drives a beater, gets suspended from the force, and says, “I’m too old for this shit.”

Okay, so far, not the most original concept. Striker and his gum-chewing, wisecracking partner, Charlie Garrett (Robert Viharo, star of BARE KNUCKLES, which Edmonds also directed), investigate a string of call-girl murders in which the victims are found with their necks broken and their faces painted. Yeah, we’ve seen this before too, though the agreeable buddy-cop chemistry between Napier and Viharo provides a great deal of humor.

Here is when it gets more interesting. The serial killer is hulking Chuck Summers (Robert Z’Dar), a psycho veteran impervious to bullets, punches, and pain. That’s because he’s learned an ancient Asian method of stealing the lifeforce from his murder victims to gain immortality for himself. Summers prolongs his own life by shortening others. Like a lot of Z’Dar’s roles, the role of “the Night Stalker” (although he’s never referred to that way) doesn’t allow him to do much acting, but his physicality and unique facial structure inspired director William Lustig to cast him in MANIAC COP a year later.

The script is lacking in the continuity, logic, and dialogue departments, extending to the cliché of putting Striker’s loved one—Denise (THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL’s Katherine Kelly Lang), the ward of Striker’s ex-hooker lover Rene (Michelle Reese)—in harm’s way as Summers’ next target. Kleven keeps the story moving, however, jazzing up his action sequences with interesting camera placements and beefy stunts and squibs. Really, Kleven doesn’t do as much with the script’s supernatural elements as he could have, but it allows him to bloody up Z’Dar in a series of shootouts that leave the monster standing.

Don Meredith On Police Woman

Everyone knows the late “Dandy” Don Meredith was a fine NFL quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, being named to the Pro Bowl three times and the NFL Player of the Year in 1966. Everyone also knows about Meredith’s career as a sportscaster, namely as one-third of the most popular football announcing teams of all time, joining Frank Gifford and Howard Cosell for many seasons on ABC’s MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL. But what is mostly forgotten is Meredith’s brief career as an actor.

“The Danderoo,” as Cosell sometimes called him, left MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL to join NBC. His three-year contract not only included calling NFL games with Curt Gowdy, but also acting in NBC TV series and movies. One of his first acting gigs under his new deal was in “The Loner,” POLICE WOMAN’s first-season finale.

POLICE WOMAN starred Angie Dickinson (RIO BRAVO) as Sgt. Pepper Anderson, an undercover Los Angeles police detective who worked for her platonic friend Sgt. Bill Crowley (Earl Holliman). A sexy mature actress, Dickinson was one of the first women to star in a one-hour police drama. Unlike the campy CHARLIE’S ANGELS, which came two years later, POLICE WOMAN was played straight with plenty of sex, violence, and adult storylines featuring white slavery, illegal adoptions, narcotics, serial killers, and lots of rapes. Under executive producer David Gerber, POLICE WOMAN was gritty, tough, and popular with audiences.

“The Loner” aired March 14, 1975. Burton Armus, later a staff writer on KOJAK, NYPD BLUE, and STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, penned the teleplay, and ONE STEP BEYOND host/creator John Newland directed it. Meredith plays Turk Allison, a Texas-bred private eye hired to keep an eye on an important witness named Fred Blau (Pat Harrington, ONE DAY AT A TIME’s Schneider). After an assassination attempt at LAX that leaves one gunman dead, Blau splits, and the lone-wolf Allison teams with Pepper and a reluctant Crowley to find Blau before mobster Ace Briscoe (Neville Brand) does.

Meredith is amateurish and a bit stiff, but not without charisma, and the Southern-fried Allison may have been written for him. Gerber knew him well, having cast Meredith in several episodes of the anthology series POLICE STORY as Tony LoBianco’s partner. The Meredith/LoBianco shows were popular, but surprisingly never led to a regular series. 1976’s BANJO HACKETT was certainly an attempt at getting Meredith a weekly vehicle, but the pilot didn’t go.

Dandy Don returned to the MNF fold in 1977, but continued to act, most notable in the NBC movie UNDERCOVER WITH THE KKK, which starred Meredith as FBI agent Gary Rowe, who infiltrated the Ku Klux Klan in Alabama in the early 1960s. He left MNF for good in 1984 and pretty much retired from the public life, popping up for occasional acting jobs and rare NFL appearances.

Meredith died last night in Santa Fe, New Mexico after suffering a brain hemorrhage. He was 72 years old. His Dallas Morning News obituary is here.

Prom Night (1980)

Leslie Nielsen died yesterday in Florida at the age of 84. You can read his New York Times obituary here. His split careers as a dramatic and a comedic actor are well documented. From his U.S. television debut on STUDIO ONE through 1980, Nielsen was strictly known for drama, mainly in episodic television, though he also starred in the science fiction classic FORBIDDEN PLANET and played the ill-fated ship's captain in the disaster film THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.

His life changed, however, in 1980, when writer/directors Jerry Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and David Zucker hired him, along with other drama stalwarts like Peter Graves (who also died in 2010), Robert Stack, and Lloyd Bridges, to act in AIRPLANE! The conceit that Nielsen could be hilarious while doing exactly the same style of acting he had been doing his whole career was brilliant, and led to his second career spoofing himself in generally crummy comedies: SPY HARD, SCARY MOVIE 4, STAN HELSING, REPOSSESSED, THE CREATURE WASN'T NICE, MR. MAGOO...

Of course, ABC's shortlived POLICE SQUAD, which earned Nielsen his first Emmy nomination, spawned THE NAKED GUN and its two sequels, which, along with AIRPLANE!, led his obituaries.

But did you know that Nielsen co-starred in two features released theatrically in July of 1980? One was AIRPLANE! The other was a dumb Canadian slasher flick that has endured just as long, spawning three sequels and a 2008 remake.

PROM NIGHT’s following is more likely due to its catchy title and star turn by Jamie Lee Curtis, rather than its own worth as a horror movie. Just 20 years old during filming, Curtis had already starred in HALLOWEEN and THE FOG and would do TERROR TRAIN next.

Ten-year-old Robin Hammond is teased to death by four schoolmates, who panic and allow a local sex offender to be convicted for her murder. Six years later, the day of Alexander Hamilton High School’s prom, he escapes from custody and returns to town. That night, the four witnesses to Robin’s death, now teenagers, are harassed and stalked by an athletic masked killer dressed in black. Is there a connection?

Probably, though you’ll be kept guessing by the hilarious number of red herrings in the screenplay by William Gray and Robert Guza Jr., who also separately wrote other Canadian horror movies like CURTAINS, HUMONGOUS, and THE CHANGELING. David Cronenberg repertory player Robert Silverman (RABID) plays the school’s demented handyman. Curtis and Michael Tough play Robin’s teen siblings, and top-billed Nielsen is their father, the school principal. You may also recognize a blond Jeff Wincott (LAST MAN STANDING) and Anne-Marie Martin, billed as Eddie Benton, who went on to co-star in SLEDGE HAMMER! and co-write TWISTER with her late husband Michael Crichton.

An obvious ripoff of CARRIE, PROM NIGHT, for all its success, doesn’t really deliver the goods. No on-camera murders occur for the first hour, director Paul Lynch (BULLIES) stages the killings in a relatively bloodless manner (aside from a neat decapitation), there’s only a flash of nudity (the girls wear towels in the locker room), and the disco-filled soundtrack by Paul Zaza and Carl Zittrer earns snickers today.

Avco Embassy released PROM NIGHT in the U.S. to very good box office receipts of more than $14 million. Its popularity, along with that of FRIDAY THE 13TH, which was also released in the summer of 1980, played an enormous part in spurring the slasher genre that dominated the early 1980s.

Check out a pair of TV spots for PROM NIGHT, which misspell Nielsen's name, below:

So Long, Danno

James MacArthur, the youthful actor forever known as “Danno” after eleven seasons on HAWAII FIVE-0, died today in Florida at age 72. The cause of death given was natural causes.

MacArthur was actually not originally cast as Danny Williams, the number-one sidekick to Jack Lord’s Steve McGarrett. Tim O’Kelly (TARGETS) played Williams in the 1968 pilot episode, “Cocoon,” but MacArthur took over the role thereafter and stuck with the series until 1979. He left the show after its eleventh season, and FIVE-0 limped along one year without MacArthur until its 1980 cancellation.

HAWAII FIVE-0 would fit nicely with much of today’s network schedule, thirty years after it left CBS; in fact, a remake of the series premiered on CBS last month with Scott Caan (OCEAN’S ELEVEN), the son of movie star James, cast as Danno. FIVE-0’s emphasis on dynamic plots and exotic Hawaiian culture left little time for backstories, leaving it to the actors themselves to create strong characters through their performances.

Because of episodic television standards of the period, as well as—let’s face it—Jack Lord’s reported reticence to share the spotlight, FIVE-0’s supporting actors, which also over the years included Kam Fong as Chin Ho Kelly, Zulu as Kono, Herman Wedemeyer as Duke, and Al Harrington as Ben Kokua, received few opportunities to shine alone. Even MacArthur, an accomplished star of Disney movies and the scion of Hollywood royalty (his mother was Helen Hayes), rarely got an episode of his own.

Perhaps MacArthur’s finest performance as Danny Williams was in the third-season episode “Beautiful Screamer,” which aired December 2, 1970. Rarely seen since then, because it was not included with most syndicated packages until HAWAII FIVE-0 was digitally remastered in the 1990s, “Beautiful Screamer” provides one of the few cases to impact the Five-0 team on a personal level.

Two beautiful young women who are friends with each other are strangled to death. One of them is Danny’s girlfriend, Jane Michaels, played by a gorgeous Anne Archer, making one of her first TV appearances at age 23. The killer is Walter Gregson (Lloyd Bochner), a cold bastard who wants to murder his rich wife (a dishy Laraine Stephens) and strangles the other women to make it appear as though a psycho is on the loose.

Scripted by Stephen Kandel, an excellent writer with a gift for offbeat plotting, and directed by Tony Leader, “Beautiful Screamer” allows McGarrett to step aside and let Danno run the investigation. It’s certainly the most emotional acting MacArthur ever did on the series and a nice showcase for a somewhat stiff performer who must have relished the chance to play something with more meat to it.

So Long, Stephen J. Cannell

One of television's great writer/producers has passed away.

Stephen J. Cannell, a name recognizable to anyone who watched prime-time television in the 1980s, died yesterday at his Pasadena, California home of complications of melanoma at the age of 69.

Some of the series created or co-created by Cannell: THE A-TEAM, HARDCASTLE & MCCORMICK, THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO, HUNTER, BARETTA, 21 JUMP STREET, and THE ROCKFORD FILES. And those are (some of) the hits! I'm leaving out shows that didn't go past a season or two (such as TENSPEED & BROWN SHOE, THE ROUSTERS, UNSUB, and STINGRAY) and earlier shows on which he worked as a staff writer, freelance writer, and/or story editor, like ADAM-12 and TOMA.

In other words, Cannell was damn good at his job, one of the best there has ever been. His work as a screenwriter was particularly strong with a strength for quirky dialogue and distinct characterization. Yes, many of his shows were formula TV, but that's what the networks were (and are) buying, and Cannell was among the best at it.

In tribute, I plan to rerun some old Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot posts I've written about Cannell and some of his shows. Although he had basically retired from television, Cannell was still an active novelist and had appeared occasionally as an actor on ABC's CASTLE.

More On Robert Culp

Anyone interested in the life and career of the late Robert Culp, the I SPY star who passed away last month, should probably read Stephen Bowie's fine appreciation of the actor on his Classic TV History blog.

Meanwhile, if you're into junky movies, pay a visit to a new blog by Don Guarisco, Schlockmania, which covers spaghetti westerns, Roger Corman movies, and reviews of old FANGORIA issues, among other offerings.

Finally, you know I've been covering the tough, gritty, strange world of men's adventure novels here at Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot, but nothing on the "men's sweat" magazines that lined drug store and newsstand shelves during the 1950s, '60s, and '70s. I hope to review some eventually, but until then, pay some attention to the Men's Adventure Magazine blog.

RIP, Robert Culp

The fine television and film actor Robert Culp has died at age 79, I'm sad to report.

Although Culp appeared in many films during his acting career of more than fifty years, it is television where he made his bones. Culp was a ubiquitous guest star on television dramas, most notably his three appearances on THE OUTER LIMITS, including the stunning "Demon With a Glass Hand," which was directed by Byron Haskin (WAR OF THE WORLDS) and written by Harlan Ellison. Almost as great as "Demon" is "Architects of Fear," in which Culp plays an American scientist who is transformed into a monster in order to fool the world's superpowers into coming together to fight a common enemy.

Culp was also a regular on the underrated western TRACKDOWN, the groundbreaking 1960s spy series I SPY, and the 1980s superhero takeoff THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO. He also appeared several times on EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND as the father of Patricia Heaton's character.

In addition to acting, Culp was also an excellent screenwriter, penning episodes of THE RIFLEMAN, CAIN'S HUNDRED, TRACKDOWN, I SPY, and THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO. For an excellent history of Culp's three-year run as the star of I SPY, track down (no pun intended) his audio commentaries on Image's I SPY DVDs, which are among the most detailed and candid histories of a television series I've encountered.

Culp also directed one film, and it's one of the best crime dramas ever made by a one-time director. 1972's HICKEY AND BOGGS reunited Culp with his I SPY co-star Bill Cosby as down-and-out private detectives looking for a missing girl and $400,000 from a botched bank robbery. It's a fascinating and downbeat story with terrific action sequences, including exciting shootouts in the L.A. Coliseum and the Dodger Stadium parking lot. It isn't easy to find today--it's never been released on VHS, DVD, or Blu-ray--but fans of the private eye genre should keep an eye out for HICKEY AND BOGGS. MGM HD has aired a very nice hi-def print of it.

For more on Robert Culp, see this post on THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO, this post on his 1981 TV-movie KILLJOY, and this post on the I SPY novels.

RIP, Peter Graves

I'm sad to report tonight that actor Peter Graves has died at his California home, four days before his 84th birthday (MSNBC obit here).

Graves, the younger brother of GUNSMOKE star James Arness (the family name is Aurness), was a solid, dependable leading man in features and television who made his splash in Hollywood as the traitorous POW Price in Billy Wilder's wonderful STALAG 17. Throughout the 1950s, he worked his ass off in major films (NIGHT OF THE HUNTER), schlocky sci-fi (Bert I. Gordon's BEGINNING OF THE END, Roger Corman's IT CONQUERED THE WORLD, even Billy's brother W. Lee Wilder's KILLERS FROM SPACE), and in TV guest shots.

He starred in six television series--the westerns FURY and WHIPLASH; COURT MARTIAL; the classic MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and its 1980s comeback; and the documentary series BIOGRAPHY on A&E, which spawned a Phil Hartman parody on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE--as well as the epic miniseries THE WINDS OF WAR and WAR AND REMEMBRANCE. He also was surprisingly funny as the oblivious Captain Oveur in 1980's AIRPLANE!

What's interesting about Graves' AIRPLANE! turn is that he was reportedly bemused why Jerry Zucker, David Zucker, and Jim Abrahams would want to cast him, an actor who had always acted in serious roles, in a comedy. Even while shooting AIRPLANE!, Graves was confused as to what the gag was, but like a professional, he pressed on. It wasn't until co-star Lloyd Bridges told him, "We're the joke, Peter," that he began to catch on, that it was the juxtaposition of familiar dramatic actors playing the material straight was what was funny.

Of course, it was that quality that made MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE the international sensation it became. Although Graves didn't join the '60s spy series until its second season, replacing Steven Hill (later the D.A. on LAW & ORDER) as the star, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE flourished under his steady presence. Because the plots and situations were frequently so outlandish, they needed to be grounded in some level of reality to make them plausible. While Graves was a limited actor, he was always a believable one, and he had a way of performing the most absurd material in such a way that the audience totally bought it. You can read some of my posts on MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and Graves here.

It should also be noted that Graves dabbled in directing, helming one MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE segment and a 1966 episode of his brother's GUNSMOKE.

Brittany Murphy Dead at 32

CLUELESS co-star Brittany Murphy died this morning of an apparent heart attack at 32. You may know her better from SIN CITY, 8 MILE, or GIRL, INTERRUPTED.

My favorite film of hers is the little-known 1997 actioner DRIVE, which is most likely the best American action movie never to play theaters. She plays Deliverance Bodine, an adorable and slightly eccentric motel owner who helps stars Mark Dacascos and Kadeem Hardison battle bad guys during the fast-paced film's explosive second act.

Murphy was a decent actress in the right part, and was especially good opposite Eminem in the autobiographical 8 MILE.

R.I.P. Gene Barry

The debonair Gene Barry died this week in California at the age of 90. You can read his New York Times obit here.

Barry was one of the few television actors to headline his own series in the 1950s, '60s, '70s, and '90s. He played Bat Masterson in the self-titled western from 1958 to 1961.

From there, he moved to BURKE'S LAW as a millionaire Beverly Hills police chief from 1963 to 1966 (in its last season, Barry's character became a spy, and the series was retitled AMOS BURKE, SECRET AGENT). Click here to see Barry and the delicious Michele Carey in the tag of an AMOS BURKE episode, along with its swingin' theme.

From 1968 to 1971, Barry was one of three leads, along with Tony Franciosa and Robert Stack, in Universal's 90-minute crime drama THE NAME OF THE GAME. He also went to England in 1972 to play THE ADVENTURER for one season.

Amazingly, Barry reprised his role as Amos Burke in the CBS revival of BURKE'S LAW in 1994, which lasted for a season. Barry was also a movie star, most prominently in the George Pal classic THE WAR OF THE WORLDS in 1951, and secured a Tony nomination for originating the role of Georges in LA CAGE AUX FOLLES on Broadway in 1984.

The Exterminator Is Dead

As you know, 2009 has been a bad year for drive-in movie-star deaths, and actor Robert Ginty is the latest to journey to the Big Grindhouse in the Sky. Ginty was just 60 years old when he died of cancer yesterday in Los Angeles.

Ginty co-starred on BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP, THE PAPER CHASE, and HAWAIIAN HEAT, and later became a director of television shows and low-budget features, such as 1989's THE BOUNTY HUNTER, in which he also starred.

However, Ginty is best known for playing the title role in the 1980 grindhouse classic THE EXTERMINATOR. This Avco Embassy release plays like two different films spliced together, as if director James Glickenhaus (SHAKEDOWN) had already finished the film, and then received word from the studio that it had retained actor Christopher George (THE RAT PATROL) for ten days of work and could you please create a part for him in the movie, thank you.

Ginty made his exploitation debut as John Eastland, a Vietnam vet who stalks the streets of the Big Apple, tracking down the street scum that paralyzed his best pal, Army buddy Jefferson (James). Glickenhaus, who also wrote the screenplay, has a firm grip on the tackiness and despair that permeated 42nd Street at that time, and captures the worst aspects of New York City with his camera, shooting in locations squalid enough to make Andy Warhol vomit.

He also stages some shocking action sequences, including a prologue set in Vietnam that opens with an exploding body vaulting off the top of a hill and Eastland’s merciless revenge against a mobster by lowering him into a meat grinder.

Unfortunately, nearly half the film is taken up by George’s character, a cop named Dalton assigned to investigate the serial killings, which the media have attributed to a vigilante called “The Exterminator”. As much as I like George, Glickenhaus gives him very little of substance to do, and, in desperation, tacks on a superfluous romantic subplot between George and a nurse played by Samantha Eggar (THE BROOD). These scenes are so pointless and dull that they make Ginty’s scenes seem more interesting than they actually are when Glickenhaus cuts back to them. Late in the game, the film also throws in a CIA conspiracy and a bummer ending that serve little dramatic purpose. George’s novel method of roasting hot dogs is funny though.

THE EXTERMINATOR was quite a hit in 1980 and eventually led to the sequel EXTERMINATOR 2, which I saw at Market Place Cinemas in Champaign, Illinois in 1985. Ginty returned with his trademark flamethrower to broil the asses of more inner city bad guys, but without Glickenhaus' skill at creating kinetic energy (Mark Buntzman directed the sequel), EXTERMINATOR 2 fizzled.

Make sure you watch the original EXTERMINATOR on Anchor Bay’s DVD, which restores the film to its original X-rated cut with crucial moments of gore that provide the film with extra kick. the well-known Stan Winston and Tom Burman provided the bloody squibs and makeup effects.

R.I.P., Robert Ginty. The original theatrical trailer for THE EXTERMINATOR follows.

RIP, Dalton

The star of DIRTY DANCING, GHOST, POINT BREAK, and the greatest movie ever made--ROAD HOUSE--is dead of pancreatic cancer at age 57. You can read the New York Times obituary of Patrick Swayze here.

I wish now I had watched Swayze's recent A&E crime drama, THE BEAST, when it was on. Knowing he was in treatment for his cancer while shooting a grueling action series on the snowy streets of Chicago makes his battle all the more impressive.

Above image from I-Mockery's hilarious review of Swayze's early ABC cop series THE RENEGADES.

So Long, Sammy

I haven't seen an obit yet, but it's going around the Internet that Sammy Petrillo has died of cancer at age 75.

Sammy's main--and only, as far as I know--claim to fame is that he was a spot-on Jerry Lewis impersonator who teamed up with a Dean Martin imitator in the mid-1950s to do nightclub performances, TV gigs, and even one film, the stunning BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA.

Duke Mitchell didn’t really look a lot like Dino, but he was a good-looking Italian guy who could sing a bit. On the other hand, Petrillo’s resemblance to Jerry was uncanny. He wasn’t very funny, but he looked and sounded almost exactly like Lewis, and, even though he was still just a teenager, he was able to present a reasonable facsimile of Jerry’s spastic screen persona. So Duke and Sammy didn’t exactly come out and say, “We’re ripping off Martin and Lewis,” but anyone who caught their nightclub act would realize that’s exactly what they were doing.

Realart Pictures, run by a Detroit theater owner named Jack Broder, made its name re-releasing classic Universal horror films, like DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN. In 1952, Broder and Mitchell & Petrillo’s manager, Maurice Duke, got the idea to put the team in a movie that would be produced in nine days on a budget no higher than $50,000. The result is one of cinema’s strangest comedies, one goofy enough to actually earn its ridiculous title: BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA.

Lugosi had once been a great stage and screen star, most famous for portraying Count Dracula in Universal’s 1931 classic, but by 1952, he had already become the broken-down heroin addict played by Martin Landau in 1994’s ED WOOD. It’s unlikely Lugosi’s name in the title had much cachet then, but perhaps Broder was remembering the grosses from Realart’s DRACULA re-release when it came time to release his new picture. At least it plays fair, since Lugosi does indeed “meet” a Brooklyn gorilla. Sort of.

Don’t expect Tim Ryan’s screenplay to make much sense, but here we go. Duke and Sammy play Duke and Sammy, a pair of nightclub entertainers who accidentally fall out of an airplane (while luckily wearing parachutes) and happen to drop onto a South Seas island populated by a native chief with a Brooklyn accent (Al Kikume) and his daughter Nona (played by a Mexican actress billed as Charlita). Also on the island is Dr. Zabor (Lugosi), a mad scientist who is in love with Nona, who works as his assistant in his laboratory. Ryan and director William Beaudine--notoriously nicknamed One-Shot because of his reputation for filming only one take of each scene, even if an actor blew a line or the set fell down--establish Nona as having an American college education, yet she fails to recognize simple English idioms and has no idea what a clothing label is.

Duke and Nona fall for each other, while Nona’s fat “baby sister” Saloma (Muriel Landers) chases Sammy all over the island. Zabor decides the best way to get Duke out from between him and Nona is to turn the crooner into a gorilla. The good doc is working on experiments in evolution, y’see, although there doesn’t appear to be much of a market for a man-into-monkey potion. And if you’re an animal lover, there’s no need to fret. No simians were harmed during the production; stuntman Steve Calvert, who specialized in this type of part, donned his own gorilla suit to play the transformed Duke.

Sure, the story is as asinine as its setup, but who cares? Mitchell gets to perform his signature tune, Fred Rose and Walter Hirsch’s “’Deed I Do”, several times, Sammy screams and runs around a lot, and Bela gets to be Bela. It even appears that Lugosi is having a good time, not that he would have any reason not to enjoy spending four days mugging for a movie with his name in the title.

While I doubt either ever saw BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA, Dean Martin reportedly got a kick out of Mitchell & Petrillo’s act, but Jerry Lewis didn’t. The two imitators broke up after Lewis threatened to sue them. Both more or less fell out of show business after that, although Mitchell later resurrected himself to write, produce, compose, direct and star in a violent mobster movie called THE EXECUTIONER in 1974.

Ted Baxter Meets Walter Cronkite

"So, Walt, what words do you have trouble pronouncing?"

Worst meets best in this landmark episode of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, "Ted Baxter Meets Walter Cronkite," which I pulled off the DVD shelf upon learning of the death of the venerable CBS newsman today at age 92. Unbelievably, the man so many Americans thought of as "Uncle Walter" served just 19 years in the anchor chair, and lived long enough to see his successor, Dan Rather, eventually replaced.

In "Ted Baxter," which aired during MARY TYLER MOORE's fourth season, vain WJM anchorman Baxter (Ted Knight) buys himself a Teddy Award, given to Minneapolis-St. Paul television productions, after six straight years of losing. His gambit, which includes praying on the air in an attempt to make himself appear more likable, works, and he now believes the network is going to come calling to make him a co-anchor with Cronkite.

Wouldn't ya know that Cronkite just happens to be in town to give a lecture and stops off at WJM to see his old war buddy Lou Grant (Edward Asner)? Cronkite has only one scene in the episode, which is worth seeing just for his introduction. It's a perfect indication of how popular he was that, when he enters the stage through the newsroom door, not only does he receive a round of applause from the studio audience, but also a few cheers.

Cronkite was reportedly a reluctant celebrity, and it must have been considered quite a coup for MARY TYLER MOORE to land him as a guest star (I believe this was his one and only sitcom appearance).

Walter Cronkite covered Watergate, Man on the moon, the JFK assassination. He was the most popular newsman in the world. More importantly, he was the most trusted newsman. We miss our favorite uncle tonight. But we have been missing him for a long time, since he left the CBS anchor desk in 1981, and broadcast journalism changed--for the worst--forever.

The Fog Of War

Robert McNamara, the Secretary of Defense under Presidents Kennedy and Johnson who was a major architect of the Vietnam War, died today at age 93.

Anyone following the war in Iraq, especially those at BushCo who started it, should be required to watch Errol Morris' fine 2003 documentary THE FOG OF WAR: ELEVEN LESSONS FROM THE LIFE OF ROBERT MCNAMARA.

It's basically one long interview with McNamara, an arch-foe of the passionate anti-Vietnam protesters of the period, a man accused of arrogance, a lack of human feeling, and a mathematical, rather than emotional, approach to sending men overseas to die. Obviously, there's no way to watch FOG and not feel compelled to substitute the words "Rumsfeld", "Bush," and "Iraq" for "McNamara", "Johnson," and "Vietnam".

The similarities between the two administrations and their approaches to war are frighteningly similar. As McNamara even points out, the lack of effective data, an inability to admit or accept failure, and an arrogant dismissal of the opinions and advice of U.S. allies were fatal flaws in the Johnson administration's approach to 'Nam. And, of course, the sight of a Texan President with a decidedly inferior intelligence to those businessmen (McNamara was the president of the Ford Motor Company before joining Kennedy's staff) in his inner circle is one we saw on the evening news every night during the Bush administration.

While McNamara doesn't go so far as to apologize for his actions during the late 1960s, he clearly sees his tenure as Defense Secretary in a different light, a more sorrowful one. Perhaps he feels an apology would feel hollow so many years later; after all, what's done is done. I came out of FOG admiring him a lot more than I did going into the film. I'd like to admire our contemporary leaders the same way. I just hope it doesn't take forty years for Cheney, Rumsfeld, etc. to admit they screwed up.

Random TV Title: The Streets Of San Francisco

I've had little time to do much blogging this week, but I have to acknowledge today's passing of actor Karl Malden, who made it to age 97. The list of film directors Malden worked with in his extraordinary career as a character actor is incredible: Hitchcock, Kazan, Ford, Henry Hathaway, Marlon Brando, Norman Jewison, Ken Russell, Frankenheimer, Schaffner, Blake Edwards, Martin Ritt, even Dario Argento. Malden also directed a film of his own, the suspenseful courtroom drama TIME LIMIT, which only recently made it to DVD, and I'm glad Malden lived to see it released.

However, he's best known (and it's what most of his obits are leading with) as the star of THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO, an above-average Quinn Martin crime drama that was a hit for five seasons on ABC from 1972 to 1977. Sharp writing, high production values, location shooting in San Francisco, and a warm, realistic relationship between Malden and the young actor playing his cop partner--Michael Douglas--made the show a success. The first two seasons are available on DVD, and I advise you to sample some episodes.

Here's a video I posted to YouTube. It's the opening titles to the Season 4 episode "Murder By Proxy," guest-starring John Ritter, Bradford Dillman, and other recognizable faces.

Farrah Is Dead at 62

Farrah Fawcett’s very public battle with cancer ended today, when the actress died in California at the age of 62.

Actually, I never got used to calling her Farrah Fawcett. To me, she was always Farrah Fawcett-Majors, the name she used when she became an American icon as the most popular star of CHARLIE’S ANGELS in 1976. She was, of course, until 1983, married to Lee Majors, the star of another major ABC success, THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, and did a handful of guest shots on her husband’s series.

When she left CHARLIE’S ANGELS after just a single season (though legal actions forced her to return for a few guest appearances), Farrah jumped to the big screen, Caruso-style. And, like David Caruso’s ill-fated effort at a film career, Farrah’s three pictures flopped big time. It wasn’t until her first Emmy nomination as the star of the downbeat made-for-TV movie THE BURNING BED in 1984 that people began to take her (somewhat) seriously as an actress.

I haven’t seen the first of those films, an allegedly breezy comic mystery with Jeff Bridges called SOMEBODY KILLED HER HUSBAND. But I have seen the follow-up, a similar film called SUNBURN, directed by Richard C. Sarafian (VANISHING POINT) and released in 1979.

Farrah and Charles Grodin (SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES) are an unlikely couple in this frothy adventure/comedy filmed in Acapulco. Insurance investigator Jake (Grodin) is sent to Mexico to investigate the death of a wealthy man with a $5 million life insurance policy. Teaming up with beautiful model Ellie (Fawcett-Majors)--undercover as Jake's wife--and grizzled ex-P.I. Marcus (Art Carney), Jake snoops into the lives of his rich neighbors, including philandering wife Joan Collins, and engages in a swashbuckling final-reel rescue.

SUNBURN’s story, co-written by TERMINATOR executive producer John Daly and actor James Booth (AVENGING FORCE), is a mess, bouncing from location to location with no sense of rhythm and introducing seemingly important characters only to drop them. However, Sarafian sets a breezy pace, and the actors look like they're having fun. They ought to--they're in Acapulco, for crying out loud!

The following year, the troubled SATURN 3 hit theater screens surrounded by buzz of Farrah’s first nude scene. As fleeting (and probably disappointing to the few teenage boys who saw it) as the shot of Farrah’s breasts is, it’s still one of the most notable elements of this dull, solidly British sci-fi movie.

Adam (Kirk Douglas) and Alex (Fawcett) are scientists working and living alone on Saturn 3, a lab located on Saturn's third moon, Titan. Their research ostensibly involves hydroponics and finding a solution to Earth's dwindling food supply, but all they really do is lounge around in their underwear and sometimes take showers.

Out of the blue, Captain James (Harvey Keitel, sporting a ponytail and a dubbed-in clipped English accent) pops in carrying a mysterious cylinder and claiming he's been sent by their employers to assist them in their work. He isn't really James though; his name is Benson, and for some reason that I never figured out, he killed the real James and took his place.

The cylinder contains a disassembled robot named Hector, which Benson puts together (how did he get all those pieces into that little-bitty cylinder?) and programs using his own brain and his own thoughts. Unfortunately, Benson is a psychopath, and, since he's attracted to Alex ("You have a beautiful body. May I use it?" he asks in one of screenwriter Martin Amis' more embarrassing moments), so is Hector, and soon both man and machine are competing for the right to "use" Alex's body, whether she likes it or not.

That really is about all there is to the plot, and it's a mystery why the film was made at all. Although the final third is nothing but a series of chases and gory confrontations, SATURN 3 is never exciting or suspenseful, and it's a real shame to see director Stanley Donen (Stanley Donen! My God, this is the guy who directed SINGIN IN THE RAIN, for Chrissakes!), Douglas and Keitel involved in such a tawdry enterprise.

Douglas is the only performer who shows any vitality (as well as his wrinkly ass); Keitel doesn't seem to be having any fun (although it's difficult to assess his performance fairly, given that his voice isn't heard at all), and Fawcett-Majors, despite her lead billing (over Kirk Douglas!), is never more than a black hole onscreen. In fact, her nipples display more pertness than her acting ever does, even in her most histrionic moment.

Thankfully, Farrah won’t be remembered for her brief stab at a silver screen career. Her legacy will be 29 episodes of CHARLIE’S ANGELS, a legendary wall poster (not the one seen above) that lined more bedroom walls during the 1970s than lead paint, and a long battle with cancer that played out before our eyes, probably more than we would have liked, including a ratings-grabbing NBC special that shocked and hopefully taught millions.

Hi Yoooooooo

Ed joins Johnny on the Big Talk Show in the Sky.



I certainly like to think Ed is sitting to Johnny's right someplace right now, enjoying some Scotches and laughing his ass off.

Carradine Around The Web

EDITED to add more links:


You can't be a fan of Crappy Movies and not love David Carradine, who was often the brightest spot in junk like FUTURE ZONE and KARATE COP, even if he just appeared for five minutes.

Here are just a few good Carradine tributes online tonight:
Chris Poggiali's Temple of Schlock
Screengrab in Exile (taking the place of the recently late and lamented Screengrab)
Jeremy Richey's Moon in the Gutter
Rent some Carradine from Netflix, which has only a handful of his hundreds of screen roles
New York Times obit
Screenwriter T.L. Lankford shares a memory from ARMED RESPONSE (although his photo isn't working)
Tribute from the always hilarious (and mysterious) Vern
Wrong Side of the Art gives us a look at the incredible Frazetta-esque DEATHSPORT one-sheet.

Carradine's death is still being unofficially called a suicide. He had seven kids and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

R.I.P. David Carradine

The star of KUNG FU, KILL BILL, BOUND FOR GLORY, DEATH RACE 2000, the SHANE TV series, and a million other films and television shows, most of which were beneath his talents, is dead at age 72.

Here are a couple of old posts I wrote about more obscure Carradine features that probably few other bloggers will today:
HIGH NOON, PART II: THE RETURN OF WILL KANE
SUNDOWN: THE VAMPIRE IN RETREAT

Like his father, the distinguished character actor John Carradine, David was a highly eccentric, very talented, charismatic performer who often dwelled in lowly quickies and cheapies that hired him for a few days to add marquee value to them. And he usually did. Also, like his dad, David rarely (but sometimes) walked through a part.

Often volatile, always interesting.