Friday, July 24, 2009

Do I Need To Watch Hotel?

I never watched HOTEL when it was on ABC, but this review makes it sound like the greatest show ever:

So for those of us who lived 1970s and 1980s television, the spectacles of Erin Moran singing (badly) Delta Dawn with Mel Torme, or Pernell Roberts and Shirley Jones in a hot tub, or Morgan Fairchild getting gang-raped (off-camera) by the kid from Ben and Burnt Offerings, or Peter Marshall forcing Heather Locklear into sex ("I just wish I didn't have to be so damned beautiful all the time!"), or Connie Stevens coldly informing Locklear, "You have to use men before they use you," or Robert Vaughn in full drag, or Robert Reed as a perverted child molester, or Charlene Tilton grotesquely trying to seduce Peter (remember, ladies: one finger crooked to your chin), or Vic Tayback talking to his dead wife, or Scott Baio doing a Sylvester Stallone imitation, or John Davidson as a surprisingly convincing sexual blackmailer, or Adrienne Barbeau as a heroin addict, or Liberace (he just has to show up), or little Tori Spelling plugging Dynasty, or McLean Stevenson desperately looking for someplace in the St. Gregory to slip-and-fall (as if his career didn't give him enough opportunities for that), or Steve Kanaly buying his son Lance Kerwin a hooker to pop his cherry, or a Hollywood Wives reunion, complete with Mary Crosby, Steve Forrest, and Robert Stack, or Larry Wilcox as Larry Can't-cox because of his too-low sperm count, or Englebert Humperdinck starting After the Lovin' and mercifully ending it, or Jan Smithers with Lou Gehrig's disease ("When the doctors told me I had Lou Gehrig's disease, I said that was impossible: I never even watch baseball on TV,"), or Bradford Dolman as a dangerous fruitcake, or Shelly Winters (god bless her) as Ma Barker-late here, or Sally Kellerman as a former porn star (we even get to hear audio of her most celebrated performance as husband Ted Shackelford swallows down his gorge) - those spectacles of insane 1980s television handily push Arthur Hailey's Hotel into the plus column for vintage TV fans.

2 comments:

Moviezzz said...

This was kind of on my radar. I never watched the show, but remember when it was on.

But reading this:

"Jan Smithers with Lou Gehrig's disease ("When the doctors told me I had Lou Gehrig's disease, I said that was impossible: I never even watch baseball on TV,")"

It is now going to the top of my must buy list.

Hal said...

The great Vic Tayback talking to his dead wife? Doesn't quite sound like it can compete with his LOVE BOAT appearances, but maybe worth a look. If anyone can pull this off, it's Vic!

Robert Reed as a perverted child molester? Again?? Was he getting typecast after NIGHTMARE IN BADHAM COUNTY? :)

Ray Krebbs himself buying his son a hooker?? Sally Kellerman as a porn star - AGAIN - after MEATBALLS 4? Or wait, actually before MEATBALLS 4!

Yeah, I gotta Netflix this....